While I have read many books throughout my lifetime, as a child teen and adult, only a select few stand out in my mind as making a difference and impact in my life. When asked to choose just one of these books, I am somewhat torn, but know that When Bad Things Happen to Good People, by Rabbi Harold S. Kushner, is the one that has been most meaningful in my life thus far. I've read it six times since it was first given to me eight years ago, and each experience I have when reading it is different and memorable.
The first time I read this book, I had just turned eleven and the Rabbi from my Temple gave me his copy of the book to read while flying to Florida to visit my grandma. His main reason for loaning it me was that my dad had recently been diagnosed with a rare brain cancer, and this was my first time traveling away from him since the onset of his illness. Reading the book during my vacation, I felt a sense of empowerment and readiness to be able to go back home and face the changes occurring in my family on a daily basis.
Kushner explains that he wrote this book as someone who has a strong belief in God, but also has had intense encounters with depressing and unfair events. He explains the illness of his child and talks about his immediate reactions to the shocking news, including thoughts about God. Reading about an adult and respected Rabbi having the exact same thoughts as I did was both overpowering and somewhat exciting. I felt as if my feelings were validated, and that I was handling the immense changes that were being thrown at me with a degree of maturity.
Weeks after returning from my trip, my Rabbi and I sat down together discussing the book, and looking at certain passages that he highlighted and others that I thought were important. He then presented me with a new copy of the book, saying he bought it for me to consult and utilize over the coming weeks, months and years because we both knew that there were more hard times to come; with both my dad's illness and other events that may occur as I grow. Since that day, I have loaned my copy to family and friends, read it five more times, and learned so much each time. I never thought that a book would impact my life this much, in both a day-to-day aspect as well as guiding my choices and feelings. Kushner's words were introduced to me at a very vulnerable time in my life, and combining his book with the other influential people in life was definitely an experience I will never forget nor take for granted. In the introduction of the book, Kushner states that he always knew he would write a book like this, with a specific audience in mind. He wrote it for "...all those people who wanted to go on believing, but whose anger at God made it hard for them to hold on to their faith and be comforted by religion. And [he] would write it for all those people whose love for God and devotion to Him led them to blame themselves for their suffering and persuade themselves that they deserved it." Reading these sentences each time I read his book help me to understand whatever situation I am in a little better, helping me to cope with the current problems while still feeling connected and secure with my religion.
